Bush's new BFF

Army General David H. Patraeus outlined plans to bring home 30,000 troops, possibly, maybe next spring, but then again, maybe not. On September 10, 2007, Patraeus spoke to two House panels. To his right, President Bush gave his new BFF the thumbs up and blew him kisses. Everyone quietly listened, unaware of the spitballs that lofted from the area of Senator John Edwards and Senator Barack Obama.

Patraeus recommended reducing U.S. forces, and suggested bringing home 3,500 troops by Christmas. Then, he probably mumbled something like, "Dead or alive."

Additionally, according to The Washington Times, Patraeus "warned that Iran and Syria are intent on destabilizing Iraq and that violence could spill across Iraq's borders absent a U.S. deterrent."

Apparently, Patraeus has not been doing his homework. Syria and Iran have been crossing Iraq's borders for years, long before Bush's war, created to boost defense spending, even started. I can hear it now … Syria's spokesperson, probably from one of their U.S. based PR firms will say something like, "The border moves from day to day. How do we know where to go?"

United States Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan C. Crocker stated to the panel, "This process will not be quick. It will be uneven, punctuated by setbacks as well as achievements, and it will require substantial U.S. resolve and commitment." Meanwhile, his wife Betty was busy handing out some pretty tasty brownies, of which Bush commented, "Yum, these brownies are giving me the munchies."

Basically, what Mr. Cockhead, I mean Crocker is saying is, "Hell no, we're not bringing this war to an end. Defense spending is at an all time high, and Halliburton contracts are piled deep." Yeah, deep like a pile of bullshit.

Oh, but Mr. Cockhead's comments get even better: The Washington Times states, "Mr. Crocker said he often reflects on American history for perspective on the halting pace of Iraq's political progress. 'At many points in our early years, our survival as a nation was questionable,' Crocker said."

Clearly, Mr. Cockhead is as smart as our foolish leader, Bush. Apparently, he wasn't paying attention in fifth grade when his teacher explained that in the early years of our developing country we were fighting to be a sovereign nation. British troops were on OUR territory. We were fighting for democracy, to create a government based on values and truths. There is no fucking correlation here between an infant U.S. nation and Iraq. We invaded Iraq!

Dear God!

What in the hell is going on here? I swear, if Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were alive today, I think they would take Bush and his BFFs out back and bitch-slap them all!