Gabs Blabs

White House dung

Well, the White House bubble rolled out last week, flubbing along with a load of bull-shit.

In a speech to build on his Thursday prime-time address, President Idiot said that he laid out a plan to move forward that will bring both sides together.

First, let me say, this appears to be his first and ONLY effort to be a uniter. And second, let me say, "What a load of shit."

There was no coming together at his prime-time address. It was him saying that the war in Iraq is being won – ah, but he didn't say by who! And then he asked for patience. How is that coming together?

In his load of crap speech, he said, "Whatever political party you belong to, whatever your position on Iraq, we should be able to agree that America has a vital interest in preventing chaos and providing hope in the Middle East."

OK, let's look at this quote more closely:

"America has a vital interest in preventing chaos and providing hope in the Middle East." First, I believe it was our idiot leader who created the chaos in an effort to find some Weapons of Mass Destruction, which he never mentioned in his 18 minutes speech, by the way. Second, we don't have a vital interest in this, he does! It's his oil. Third, if it's a VITAL interest, that means that it's necessary to the maintenance of life. I don't know about you, but Iraq isn't going to sustain my life – healthcare, economy and education are! My vital interests are on my own turf! Before the war started I didn't give a shit about Iraq – I was more concerned with the economy and my rising health insurance costs! How about you?

But, here is the one that I love: Bush mentioned that whoever takes over the Oval office next, whether they are Democrat or Republican, will inherit the war, stating that a massive U.S. commitment will be required, one that "extends beyond my presidency." In other words, on the last day of his presidency, the bubble that he lives in will leave a permanent trail of slime and bullshit that not even the strongest of carpet cleaners and diligent of politicians will ever be able to clean up.

Bush's new BFF

Army General David H. Patraeus outlined plans to bring home 30,000 troops, possibly, maybe next spring, but then again, maybe not. On September 10, 2007, Patraeus spoke to two House panels. To his right, President Bush gave his new BFF the thumbs up and blew him kisses. Everyone quietly listened, unaware of the spitballs that lofted from the area of Senator John Edwards and Senator Barack Obama.

Patraeus recommended reducing U.S. forces, and suggested bringing home 3,500 troops by Christmas. Then, he probably mumbled something like, "Dead or alive."

Additionally, according to The Washington Times, Patraeus "warned that Iran and Syria are intent on destabilizing Iraq and that violence could spill across Iraq's borders absent a U.S. deterrent."

Apparently, Patraeus has not been doing his homework. Syria and Iran have been crossing Iraq's borders for years, long before Bush's war, created to boost defense spending, even started. I can hear it now … Syria's spokesperson, probably from one of their U.S. based PR firms will say something like, "The border moves from day to day. How do we know where to go?"

United States Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan C. Crocker stated to the panel, "This process will not be quick. It will be uneven, punctuated by setbacks as well as achievements, and it will require substantial U.S. resolve and commitment." Meanwhile, his wife Betty was busy handing out some pretty tasty brownies, of which Bush commented, "Yum, these brownies are giving me the munchies."

Basically, what Mr. Cockhead, I mean Crocker is saying is, "Hell no, we're not bringing this war to an end. Defense spending is at an all time high, and Halliburton contracts are piled deep." Yeah, deep like a pile of bullshit.

Oh, but Mr. Cockhead's comments get even better: The Washington Times states, "Mr. Crocker said he often reflects on American history for perspective on the halting pace of Iraq's political progress. 'At many points in our early years, our survival as a nation was questionable,' Crocker said."

Clearly, Mr. Cockhead is as smart as our foolish leader, Bush. Apparently, he wasn't paying attention in fifth grade when his teacher explained that in the early years of our developing country we were fighting to be a sovereign nation. British troops were on OUR territory. We were fighting for democracy, to create a government based on values and truths. There is no fucking correlation here between an infant U.S. nation and Iraq. We invaded Iraq!

Dear God!

What in the hell is going on here? I swear, if Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were alive today, I think they would take Bush and his BFFs out back and bitch-slap them all!