Who's the best salesman?
I’ve discovered the ideal tool to help me overcome writer’s block. Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. I found my husband’s hidden stash last night and ate one right before going to bed.
Oh, the dreams I had.
I dreamt I was a Tibetan Monk smuggling domesticated cats past the Tibet border. Then I dreamt I was a CIA operative trying to find the owner of a white truck, simply because he had outstanding parking tickets. Then I dreamt I was a character in Lauren Weisberger’s Everyone Worth Knowing. Finally, I dreamt that I was a U.S. presidential candidate – a front running contender.
All of my dreams, except the last one seemed like dreams. I knew I could wake up at any moment and go back to my reality of snoring dogs and children talking in their sleep.
But, the presidential dream seemed so real. In my dream, we had to move into a larger, more secure house because the paparazzi were stalking me. My children needed bodyguards, I needed bodyguards, and my husband quit his job to maintain the house while I pursued the Presidential trail. Cars were driving me everywhere, my assistants and PR people were calling me every minute of every day to tell me where to go, whose hand to shake, who to schmooze up to and where to give a speech on what topic. It was overwhelming. I’m a total candy-ass … I could never work THAT hard. So, the dream was bordering on a nightmare.
At one point in my dream, I was in a debate and then followed it up with a press conference. I impressed myself. I said all the right things (i.e. things that the public WANTED to hear), I dominated the floor, and my opponent flailed with his responses. Then, when I met with the press, they were trying to stump me about Iraq, healthcare, national security, etc. I had clear-cut plans all arranged with feasible budgets. I had a vision for this country that incorporated the visions of Clinton, Obama and McCain. It was clear that I was going to win.
Then, I went and sat in my limo to go home that night (in my dream), with no one but two body guards, and sat in silence. Repeatedly, I kept saying to myself, “How am I going to deliver these promises? How am I going to do it? I’m inexperienced. Every Presidential candidate that ever came before me is inexperienced. I don’t think I can put the love and care into this country that I want to. How am I going to do this?”
When I woke up, I first realized that I could never get into politics. Too messy.
But, I also realized that our American Presidency is based on the same values of capitalism. These contenders aren’t where they are because they are 100% qualified. Rather, they are contenders because they are GOOD SALESMEN. Like a good salesman, they will figure out how to deliver only AFTER we have elected him (or her). Ah, capitalism. Gotta love it.
These contenders are telling us what we want to hear, and it’s up to us to figure out who the worst bull shitter is, and eliminate him (or her).
Money and lies rule the structure of our government. Leadership, intelligence, and experience are just qualities that we hope we can see in our candidates. We never really find out if our chosen President carries those qualities UNTIL he (or she) becomes President.
To convolute the process, we now have online social media driving the election process. It gets messier, because there are so many demographics to please and lie to. The messages are twisting and overlapping; truths become either heightened or quelled through proficient programmers and online researchers.
And I, like so many other voters, are confused. It’s not a simple choice. We’re in a senseless war, our healthcare program is pathetic, and our budget has hit an all time low. Who can fix it? Who is simply telling us what we want to hear? Who will be that President that once he (or she) makes office, he (or she) won’t be able to deliver? Who is being the most earnest? Whose experience speaks for itself?
I still don’t know.
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