Gab's Blabs

Hillary Speaks and Samantha Bee Thinks I'm Cool

Day two of the convention was amazing!

Jack and Larry, my camera guys, and Cole, my driver, ventured down towards Coors Field to watch a group of politicians and delegates work on their batting. All I can say is that baseball and politics are not two great things that go great together. Case in point: George Bush managed a baseball team.

We couldn’t get a camera down on the field, and now I know why. They can’t play ball. My proof? When I asked a few politicians leaving the field how their batting went, no one talked! Either they sucked, or much like the work they do on the DC Hill, they were sworn to secrecy despite the fact that spectators can see their every swing.

After that, Cole took us down to Civic Park, right across the street from the state capital. Recreate 68 was there, and Public Enemy was supposed to perform. Apparently, Flava Flav opted to stay in Boulder. Jerky.

Then we went back to our hotel where I put on my war paint, i.e. my makeup, and went back down to the Pepsi Center. As if the evening couldn’t get any better, on my way in I ran into The Daily Show’s Samantha Bee! Here I am, just a little, unknown struggling comedian, telling her how much I think she’s the sh*t, and she took the time to stop, shake my hand, listen to me and even tell me that what I’m doing is “cool.” Holy Crap! Samantha Bee thinks I’m cool! Surreal indeed!

Finally, I made my way inside to hear Hillary Clinton speak! But, in true Gabby-style, I had to run out right before it started to use the ladies' room. As I walked out of the arena, I encountered a Congressional Aide with a sprained foot. Oddly, no one opted to help her, so I hustled to the nearest lemonade stand, ordered a latex glove full of ice, and hustled back. Sadly, I couldn’t get back in because the arena was filling up. So, I stood just outside of the arena, in front of a wide screen TV, and helped this poor woman, whom I think broke her foot!

Nevertheless, I still heard Hillary, and every time the crowd swelled with cheers, you could feel the floor rumble. It was electrifying! Hillary looked confident, presidential, and downright gorgeous. Standing amongst reporters, delegates and vendor workers, we just looked at each other amazed at this powerful speech.

After it was over, the crowd filled the exits. I was stuck inside, looking for Cole. You would think that the convention’s tallest guest (Cole) and the convention’s smallest guest (me) would have been able to find each other with ease. Not the case. I felt like I was in the middle of an AC/DC concert.

Finally, I made my way out where, right before was John Oliver from the Daily Show jumping up and down like a duck on Quaaludes yelling, “We did it!” Again, another surreal moment, considering I was in the footage that TDS captured!

Overall, I’m numb, and it’s not just the sleep deprivation. I’ve got some great footage for you, so please be sure to check in daily to see some of my exclusive interviews! Oh, and just to remind you, Samantha Bee thinks I’m cool.

Arabs Are Funny!

Last night was celebrity night indeed! I had the pleasure of interviewing three outstanding comedians in their own right. Maz Jobrani, Dean Obeidallah and Ahmed Ahmed performed Comedy Kabob, a comedy show sponsored by the Arab-American Institute (AAI) specifically for the DNC.

AAI is a non-profit, non-partisan organization created in 1985. Its mission is to commit to the civic and political empowerment of Arab Americans.

What I just love about this organization is that, since its inception, it rises above the stereotype. AAI is an amazing and inspiring great group of people who run an outstanding organization. It has, for me, a Jewish Italian Soccer Mom, or whatever I am, enthused me to get involved with my community and with my local government.

And the show? Outstanding! Maz, Dean and Ahmed tapped into their nationality, and poked fun at who they are and where they come from. Through the process of comedy, they’ve made themselves the ambassadors to the Arab American community. And quite frankly, after hanging with these folks, I don’t think I’d want to party with anyone else!

Bottoms Up Rob!

Judging by a recent study done by Beam Global Spirits and Wine, Inc, it looks like I'm going to be having a much better time than Rob!

According to Beam's survey, Democrats prefer the fruity, pink drinks over straight up - clearly Democrats have developed taste buds. Democrats give better pick up lines, which demonstrates why Democrat infidelity is always so much more fun to watch. Case in point, Larry Craig’s police man is by far uglier than John Edwards’ hotty, Rielle Hunter. Finally, Democrats give better toasts, well, because they're creative drunks.

Additionally, Republicans give poor tips and are usually first to take advantage of the cheap drinks at Happy Hour, proving once and for all that Republicans are a bunch of cheap, old bastards who’d rather get in, get drunk, get out, and go to bed early.

So, while Rob is busy hanging out at Denny’s at five in the evening with a bunch of cheap, stinky, old Haliburton folks ogling over the Senior Menu, I’ll be staying up late at Leela’s ogling over a bunch of young hotties, sipping on my scrumptious apple-tini.

Eat your heart out Rob!

This Country Needs a Brain Enema

The Rocky Mountain News published an article yesterday about a poll that The Rocky Mountain News and CBS News 4 in Colorado conducted. Hmmmm, can you say unfair and unbalanced? Stay with me on this one, and you’ll see where I’m going.

This article says that the poll found less than 10 percent of Colorado-ites, or whatever they call themselves, are thrilled about the DNC. Additionally, of the 500 surveyed, 34 percent were indifferent to the DNC, 11 percent were annoyed, and nine percent were worried about having the DNC in Denver.

The article then states, “Another 15 percent were excited and 9 percent thrilled, the poll found.” I love this. This article breaks DNC interest down to two categories: excited and thrilled. I don’t know, but the last time I checked my thesaurus, these words were interchangeable.

Oh, I can’t forget the article’s well-placed quote of, “‘Clearly, Colorado voters are not jumping up and down about the DNC being held in Denver,’ said pollster Lori Weigel.”

So, any individual with the maximum education of a 12-year-old would read this and think, Wow, Coloradians, or whatever they are called, aren’t very excited about the DNC.

If the reader were paying attention, they would have learned that Public Opinion Strategies, an organization that polls for Republican candidates, conducted this poll.
Of course, a company that supports the Republican agenda is going to lambast the DNC and make the Colorado-ese, or whatever they call themselves, look like they aren’t interested.

Which finally leads me to these questions: Can people think for themselves? Will the manipulation of the media determine people’s belief systems, and ultimately, the election? Will people vote on what they think is good for this country? Or, will they vote on what the media has impassioned them to believe? Will people do their research and look into the detailed achievements of each candidate, or will they let their dumbed-down local news outlet help them make that decision? How about you? What will you do?

My Brush with F***ing Greatness!

 

Lewis Black is the god of comedy in my church.

So, wouldn't it figure ... the one night I have my only brush with comedic greatness, I don't have my photographer, i.e. my husband, with me.

So, I practically drooled over the table as I leaned forward to show him my cleavage (sorry, Joe) and asked him, "Any advice for a struggling comedian. I'm in the DC area."

Lewis Black replied, "DC? Oh, you're fucked."

Great.

Any other advice, Mr. Black?

"Well," my master's voice replied, "Do it all the time. Write every day, and get up on stage as much as you can."

Well, fuck, that's what I AM doing. I was hoping Mr. Black would have a magic potion or something. Oh, well.

Kanye performs during the DNC

Follow me as I report from the DNC in Denver! Visit www.ProjectBreakout.com/GabrielleBirchak2008

Kanye West will be performing at the EXDO Event Center for the RIAA / ONE Campaign on August 27 during the DNC. Risky move on RIAA's part. For all we know, Kanye might jump out on the stage at Invesco, right in the middle of Obama's speech, and demand that HE get the nomination. Could very well happen.

Denver Broncos to Patrol the Streets

View this and other blogs at www.ProjectBreakout.com/GabrielleBirchak2008

Well, it looks as if Denver is going to live up to its stereotype. Denver is going to have its police force on horseback. Nothing says "change" like being trampled by a horse.

THE DNCC OPENS ITS DOORS TO PEOPLE NATIONWIDE

Follw me while I report from Denver on the DNC! Find this blog and new videos at www.ProjectBreakout.com/GabrielleBirchak2008

This morning I had the pleasure of sitting in on a conference call that the Democratic National Convention Committee conducted. Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius, the co-chair of the 2008 DNC, spoke this morning on a conference call with media about ‘America’s Town Hall.’

“We will actually conduct a convention in ways never been seen before,” said Sebelius, referring to the inclusive dialogue that the DNCC is encouraging between Obama, elected leaders, national experts and Americans. “The 2008 Convention is about ensuring that those peoples’ voices are heard and their call for change is heeded. From Monday through Thursday, our Convention program will highlight the people of this country who want positive change and who believe Barack Obama is the leader who will listen to their concerns and get our country moving in the right direction again.”

‘America’s Town Hall’ will occur during the convention, from August 25 – 28, and will include nightly segments wherein elected officials, policy experts and other Convention speakers will conduct a combination of live dialog and prerecorded questions submitted from across the country. Each night will have a theme, as well as a keynote speaker.

Monday’s theme will be Barack’s vision for change. The keynote speaker will be Michelle Obama. She will talk about America being at a crossroads. She will also address how Barack received his vision for change.

Tuesday’s theme will be the economy. The keynote speaker will be Hillary Clinton. She will discuss America’s economic issues, including the rise in unemployment, increasing college expenses, lack of healthcare, and the methods necessary to fix the economy.

Wednesday’s theme will be Veteran’s Day. The keynote speaker will be Barack’s Vice Presidential Nominee, whom Barack has yet to announce.

Thursday, at Invesco Field, Barack will accept his Presidential nomination. Dialog with America’s citizens will continue through this event, as he will answer some of the questions provided through this process.

Individuals can submit their questions for America’s Town Hall through a variety of outlets. Online, people can visit www.DemConvention.com/townhall and type in their concerns or questions, submit a video, or even submit a YouTube link. If you are not able to submit a video and the DNCC selects your question, the DNC Committee will try to send a cameraperson to make a video of your question.

Additionally, the DNCC is inviting citizens to submit their questions in person at a series of “open calls,” starting Wednesday, August 13. These open calls will occur in Richmond, Va.; Atlanta, Ga.; Denver, Colo.; Columbus, Ohio; Detroit, Mich.; Philadelphia, Pa.; Raleigh, N.C.; and Tampa, Fla. The committee will post the exact times and locations of those tapings to www.DemConvention.com/townhall as they are scheduled and released to local media in those markets.

I encourage you to get involved. Your voice, opinions, and concerns are important to this country.

We'll All Be Committed

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What to wear to the DNC? Should I pack my Anne Klein suit? Or, my tie-dyed T-shirt? Which side of the protestors’ fence shall I sit?



After I won Project Breakout’s Political Pundit competition, I started scoping out prospects for interviews. The easiest ones to obtain were from protesters. I was desperate for a story - they were desperate to talk.

My first few interviews happened when Rob was in tow. Rob kept his distance from the protestors that we met in Lafayette Square in Washington, DC. I guess he was worried that these bone thin eccentrics would jump out at him. I however, became intrigued.

Some of these unique individuals run their protests by the seat of their torn jeans, sitting in the hot, now more prevalent than ever, sun, baking their skin as well as their brains. Hour upon hour they stand or sit there, holding up signs and shaking the one-fingered salute at the White House. Possibly, they hope, in a mentally diluted sort of way, that Bush and Cheney just might be walking by the front window of the White House, and immediately see their signs and say, “Oh, OK, the war is killing thousands upon thousands. We’ll end the war today!”

Other protest groups, like Code Pink and Rolling Thunder, utilize their organizational skills. They have headquarters, they drink coffee, they plan, they educate, they make clown-like costumes, and they eat arugula for lunch. Elitists.

These eclectic people live their mission-filled life based on action. So, I ask you, what makes these fervent protestors any different from us? Other than, you and I are more normal (I say that in the kindest sense). What makes their commitment to living out their belief systems any different from our commitment to making sure the fridge is stocked full of beer for our poker / housewarming / “empty-nest syndrome” party?

Whether it is saving a fetus, ending a war or finding a beer, the pursuit of change through action is a noble one. I look forward to meeting my fellow protestors, as we compare motivators – theirs: to reduce CO2 emissions, mine: to get in to the best party.

I think I’ll pack both outfits.

More of the Same Old McCain

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Well, Obama is headed off to Hawaii to enjoy some surf and turf with his girls last week, while McCain headed off to the Iowa State Fair to practice his game of skee ball with the rest of his retirement group. Obama left Clinton in charge of campaigning, while McCain consistently played his favorite tune of even though I’m old and rich, I more in touch with you than some one who eats arugula.

At least McCain is consistent, somewhat. He can’t seem to let go of this diluted idea that Obama is a celebrity. I don’t know, but the last time I checked MTV.com, I didn’t see any Obama dance videos. Moreover, I really don’t understand the correlation between Spears, Hilton, and Obama. Spears is an entertainer – notice I didn’t use the word singer. Hilton is just “hot” as she states in her most recent campaign ad. But, Obama is a politician - a Senator - a man who votes and works for the good of our country.

If Obama is hearing cheers and whistles, it’s not because he looks good in a corset. It’s because he’s done good things, like helping to establish laws that require tape recordings of police interrogations, create enhanced tax credits for the working poor, and improve nutrition and physical education in our public schools.

McCain’s continual accusations of celebrity-hood are unfounded. It seems to me as if this old guy is just a little jealous of Obama’s youth group. Instead of wasting money on an ad to endorse Paris Hilton as a running mate, it would be better if McCain spent that money on an ad SHOWING us how he is in touch with America.

I’m sorry, but visiting a sausage house and attending a state fair isn’t enough to prove to me that McCain is in touch with America. If he were in touch with us, he wouldn’t be backing Bush’s policies. If he were in touch with us, he wouldn’t oppose a bill to expand a children’s health insurance program for lower- and middle-class families. If he were in touch with us, he wouldn’t approve of a war that so many of us despise.