Now, for all those women who are too lazy care! Now for all those moms who hide behind the excuse of “being the perfect stay-at-home mom who is too busy to bathe or exercise”! Behold Pajama Jeans!
What are Pajama Jeans, you ask? Pajama Jeans are jeans that are pajamas, i.e. read: clothing for slothful women. Wear them for a week, and no one will notice!
Now, excessively large moms will have something to “don” before Special Sizzler Saturday Night! So many features, where to I begin?!
- Compared to those nine-year-old Hanes sweatpants, they are kinda nice to look at.
- They have a mock fly, to justify that camel-toe, or in some cases, that moose knuckle.
- They have “front and back contrast pocket stitching and brass rivets,” which conveniently distract the eyes from butt divots.
- They are stretchy. Perfect for those “All You Can Eat Buffets.”
- They are so comfortable, that women will want to sleep in them. Convenient, again for Special Sizzler Saturday Night. They can just wear them to bed, wake up and voila, they’re in their Sunday Go To Meetin’ clothes!
- They are made from babies blankets, so again, women can sleep in them Sunday night! This third night of wear actually helps to obtain that “I love my kids more than you do,” look come Monday morning at school drop-off.
- Lastly, they come in 3XL!
Order today and get a free, unattractive, grey, unshapely, crew-neck (i.e. hide those boobies) tee!
Ah! Pajama Pants! Fashion for the Slovenly!
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